Country's a callin'
by Chaser-Cya
Summary: Part 2 added....Join Duo and Heero as they try to survive the summer as camp counselors. Extreme Au and foul language.
1. Default Chapter

Title: Country's a callin' 1/?  
  
Author: Chaser  
  
Pairing(s): none so far but 1x2 and 2x5 in later parts  
  
Archive: If you want just ask okay.  
  
Category: So far- most definitely AU, humor and extreme OOC, PWP, if I can get any further Yaoi/ Shounen Ai. And what ever else happens.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own them or anything else but the story idea.  
  
Rating: R- just 'cause I got a potty mouth.  
  
Warning: Nothing big happens here. Everyone is extremely OOC and they curse A LOT!  
  
Notes: This is a lovely camp experience. Everyone is working for a sleep away camp as counselors an such. This is yet another Duo POV. Yes, this stuff *really* did happen. Trust me I got the scars to prove it too. I just changed some of the names..  
  
Feedback: Yes Please!!!!!!!!!!  
  
1 Untitled  
  
"This is gonna suck!" I whined. Just the thought makes me wanna cringe.  
  
"No it's not. Look at it this way, we'll be away from our normal, boring, dull lives for 3 months." My best friend said.  
  
I stuck my tongue out at him.  
  
"You're just sayin' that cuz you like this outdoor, woodsy, camping I scream hick shit."  
  
My best friend screwed up his face and rolled his eyes at me.  
  
"You're hopeless you know that right."  
  
"Naa man, it's just not that I don't wanna go. I do, but come on. It's in the middle of nowhere and there are creepy crawlys' everywhere!"  
  
// I hate bugs! //  
  
"You're scared of bugs." He said while laughing.  
  
// Chuck it up nature boy. Wait till one of them crawls up your ass. We'll see who's laughing then. //  
  
"NO!" I protested. "I just don't wan'em near me. Much less livin' with me." Heero continued to laugh at me. " I hope you choke!" I said annoyed. This was how he planned our summer vacation. 3 months of the *great* out doors. Taking care of some snot-nosed kids, whose parents were lucky enough to get rid of them. // This is so gonna suck! //  
  
We boarded the train. There was a ton of people on the train and even more getting on. You'd think all these people would have something better to do than ride a Godforsaken train at the crack of dawn. We were gonna be stuck on this ride for 4 hours // I need a cigarette. // and all I had to do was look out the window at the *lovely* scenery. My day was not getting any better.  
  
Not only did Heero take it upon himself to wake me up 4 hours early to finish packing, but he wouldn't let me bring my radio, CD's, or video game.  
  
// I'm beginning to question our friendship. // "Must show our best to the kids." He said to me while we packed. // I hate him sometimes. // He was so freaking perky, awake and full of freaking energy. Well not really he was just too freaking happy for my taste. // I need sleep. I need nicotine. I need coffee! //  
  
Most of the ride he read his stupid book on activities to do with these creepy kids. While I looked out the window. // OH WOW! WATER! And more freaking water. // I thought.  
  
" This is so gonna suck!" I kept mumbling to myself over and over.  
  
When we arrived at the right station, we had to rush to get off. I swear people stand in the way just so they can see you rush. To make it worst we had bags and I mean *BAGS*. Heero I think thought we were never going home. Six bags for one guy is way too much. See me, I got two. One for my clothes and hair products. The other for my comics an other entertaining things. // Gotta have my comics. //  
  
We stood waiting for the van. // Yep! // Heero said they'd be here at 7 am to pick us // And the other retards who signed up for this. // up. I sat down and waited. I hate waiting for people. They're never on time. Just watch we'll be sitting out here for days! //  
  
Heero stood in his camouflaged shorts and black tank top. He also had on the dorky camo hat. I swear he thinks he's a fuckin' marine. He even had on the combat boots that come up half way to the knee. It's about 90 degrees out here. He's a fucking nut. Me, I had on a pair of black knee length shorts,  
  
// Anything higher and people start thinking I'm really a girl. // my favorite Hiei tee-shirt// Hiei is so hot! // and a pair of old sneakers. Hell we're going to a camp not a forest. I wonder about him sometimes.  
  
It was 7:45 and still no ride. I'd smoked four cigarettes and working on my fifth. When Heero had finally had enough. //What did I tell you? //  
  
He walked to the conveniently placed police station. It didn't help that I was complaining between drags. Two minutes later he came storming out, looking like he'd had a live bee shoved up his ass.  
  
"What's wrong Hee-chan?"  
  
"Don't call me that. I'm not a little kid. That fucking ass wipe doesn't even know what I was talking about!"  
  
"Huh?. oh! Maybe he's new."  
  
" New my ass! That stupid fuck is a jackass! How's he gonna live here and not know nothin'!"  
  
Sensing Heero was about 10 seconds from going back in there and causing a nice bloody mess, I said. " Ok. wait here. I'll go and see if I can call' em. They should be listed or something. If not we can go home." I said, joking.  
  
Heero looked at me with the most serious and sincere face. " I can't go home. You know that I can't. My family'll make fun of me. Oh look poor little Heero couldn't handle being out by himself."  
  
"No they won't." I said trying to be a good friend. Knowing damn well they would.  
  
"Yes they will! I had to work damn hard just to get them to let me come here. I have to show them I can make it on my own."  
  
I patted him on the back." Don't worry. If all else fails, I'll let you drag me hiking." I said with big cheesy grin. That got him to give me a half - hearted laugh.  
  
"Yeah Right! You see one bug and I'll find you running in traffic screaming for ya life."  
  
I laughed. "Nope. You'll find me unconscious in the woods."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I'd be running so fast I'd probably knowing my luck hit a tree and be out cold." Heero laughed at me again like some manic. Telling me I was a silly ass. Hey, I'd got him to cool down and I cheered him up. What are friends for? As I made my way to the trailer they called a police station. I kept an eye on my friend. He doesn't do well around people. // Bad social skills. // I'll be damned if he's gonna get into it here. We don't even really know where we are.  
  
The police officer was old. I mean that...damn he was beyond ancient. He was 'bout dust! // DAMN! // I asked the man if he'd heard of the camp. He told me no. So I rummaged through my bag. I gotta have something in here I can use. I found a bunch a stuff I'd been looking for days and the number to my boss. // For once being a pack rat paid off. // No answer. So I left a message.  
  
" Hey Cat, it's me Duo. Me an Heero are at the train station waiting. It's 8 o'clock. Ya coming ta get us or what?" then the machine cut me off. I thanked the old man for his help // Not like he did anything. // and left.  
  
As I walked back Heero was pacing around in circles.  
  
" Hey there was no answer."  
  
"You had the number?" he said giving me this "I'll beat you if you did" look.  
  
"Uh. no. I called information they were listed. // That was not lying, it was survival. // Heero gets upset at the littlest things and I'm in no mood to tell him I had the number all this time and just forgot.  
  
" Let's take a cab." I suggested quickly.  
  
Heero agreed and commenced our ½ hour wait looking for a cab. Not like it was a big place it's just there were no cars. // This already sucks and I'm not even there yet. //  
  
We finally got a cab.err. well a van. Thank God 'cause Heero was talking about walking the estimated 5-10 miles to the camp. // No thank you. I'm skinny enough thank you very much. //  
  
The driver was a big ugly fat man, who kept looking at me and calling me miss. // I shoulda tucked in my hair. // I thought while rolling my eyes as he called me "Miss" for the 10th time. // I hate people // Now we asked him where the nearest store was. Instead of telling us, he took us to one. Not that I mind, I got to stock up on junk food. // Need I say their selection was badly in need of an overhaul but hey it's sugar. // Heero brought 2 drinks one for him and one for the driver. // Never mind Heero, Duo doesn't need anything. you freaking prick. I need new friends. //  
  
Then this dyslexic cabby drove us to his house and was still calling me miss. He said he had to drop off his laundry. When he got out I told my so- called best friend who still hasn't offered me a drink,  
  
" I'm not giving him more than 5 dollars. This is sick! Why are we at his house?"  
  
Heero shrugged his shoulders. "Calm down. I don't know. This is a town people are like this.I guess."  
  
" Well I don't like it. These people are stupid. I said please take us to the camp not your fucking house an the dumb fuck keeps callin' me 'Miss'. My name is Duo. Does that sound like freaking girls' name? I think not. Fucking retard! I swear I'm gonna flash' em if he keeps it up. Where the fuck is he anyway? What. he got stuck in the door! Fat bastard!" I bitched at Heero, who just stared at me like I'd lost my mind.  
  
You wanna know what was really funny it took exactly 4 minutes to get to the camp. I only gave him 4 dollars. I was in a real giving mood.  
  
// Drag me across town will you. //  
  
Heero knowing me when I'm annoyed just quickly got out of the cab and started to get the bags out. The camp looked like a giant yard. There was no one there to greet us just some old dog walking around. // I'm beginning to hate it here already. //  
  
"WHERE ARE THE FREAKING PEOPLE!" I yelled. "HHHHEEEELLLLOOOO!"  
  
"Maybe their inside. Come on. Let's go look." Heero said.  
  
"Umm. Heero oh wise one, which one? I see 3 houses and no sign of life and I ain't draggin' my shit back an forth for the fuck of it."  
  
Heero rolled eyes. "Calm down. You're acting like a nut. You wait here. I'll go see if I can find someone."  
  
Heero walked off mumbling something to himself. I sat down on one of his many suitcases // Don't wanna bend my comics. // and pulled out a comic. I was halfway through the comic, when I was scared half to death. Ok see I was reading my comic and really into it. Totally oblivious to rest of the world when this big ugly dirty truck drove up right in front of me. // Ok so I'm kinda deaf. // It stopped just about on top of me. I jumped tipping over the suitcase I was sitting on, sending me sideways into the graveled road and to make things worst 3 of Heero's other bags fell on me. // Stupid freaking son of a. //  
  
I looked up to curse out the driver when I saw heads sticking out of the side of the pick up truck. Four head which were all laughing. Four girls to make my day even better and an ugly greasy looking driver // Why does every driver in this hell hole look like Barney from the Simpson's? // were laughing at me. // I'm so not gonna like it here! 3 months hurry the hell up! // I thought to myself. // Or I might have to kill someone. //  
  
End for now 


	2. Part 2

Title: Country's a callin' 2/? (Formerly untitled I'm still working on a title.)  
  
Author: Chaser  
  
Pairing(s): NONE SO FAR  
  
Archive: If you want just ask okay.  
  
Category: So far- most definitely AU, humor and extreme OOC, PWP, if I can get any further Yaoi/ Shounen Ai. And what ever else happens.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own them or anything else but the story idea.  
  
Rating: R- just 'cause I got a potty mouth.  
  
Warning: Nothing big happens here. Everyone is extremely OOC and they curse A LOT!  
  
Notes: This is a lovely camp experience. Everyone is working for a sleep away camp as counselors an such. This is yet another Duo POV. Yes, this stuff *really* did happen. Trust me I got the scars to prove it too. I just changed some of the names. There is also a Non-yaoi version to this ficcy. It's at the end.  
  
Feedback: Yes Please!!!!!!!!!!  
  
  
  
  
  
I got up quickly dusting myself off. The driver got out and man was I ever right. He was fat, smelly and funny looking.  
  
" Hi you're a new counselor right?" // No I'm a bird! What else would I be shithead. //  
  
Plastering on the big smile I'm so famous for, " Yeah I'm Duo, nice ta meet ya."  
  
The driver gave me a funny look. This happens all the time; they think I'm a girl and Duo's my nickname.  
  
"That's a funny name for a girl." He said.  
  
I sighed. This was getting on my fucking nerves.  
  
" I'm not a girl… I'm a guy."  
  
He looked at me like I was the oddest thing he'd ever seen. // Ok I found the hicks and I'm talking to their leader. // "Really?"  
  
"Yea dude I stand up to piss."  
  
" I just asked no need to be a prick about it." He said.  
  
I tried not to commit to acts of violence yet; it was just the first day.  
  
// Where the fuck is Heero? // He extended his hand to me. // You want me to touch that? //  
  
"The name's Don."  
  
// I don't care what you name is I ain't touching you. //  
  
"I'm the maintenance guy here."  
  
// Better you than me. // I thought as he waited for me to shake his hand. Which I was not doing, fuck being nice. He reminded me of one of those guys who beg for beer money on the street.  
  
I turned to avoid his hand and quickly pointed and said, "Who are they?"  
  
" Those are the international counselors. You'll be working with them too."  
  
As if trained to do so they all got off the truck and began to introduce themselves. There was Lita from Estonia, Rina from some Spanish country. Or that's what I think it was. Then there was the one whose name I couldn't even pronounce from Arabia or India. // Must be adopted. //  
  
"Wait a minute, you're not a girl are you?" I said.  
  
The boy smiled and said with a nice accent. " No I'm a boy like you. We just girl looks."  
  
You got that right he looked like a small underdeveloped girl // Ok now I don't feel so bad. // with the bluest eyes I've ever seen. I called him Q. It was better than callin' him " Hey you the one who's parent didn't love 'em." That would just be wrong. As Heero says " Must be on our best. What would the children think." // Like I give a flying fuck! // The last was a girl. Her name was Ingrid. She was tall, slim and looked like an anorexic model. Most of them seemed to be on some kind of happy pill. They wouldn't stop smiling. // Sweet fuck I'm gonna be sick! // I need some of the shit they're on. It looks like fun.  
  
Heero took it upon himself to finally show up.  
  
"Hey Heero look other counselors, the internationals."  
  
Now Heero has something with him about the way he introduces himself to people. He acts like his briefing people about some imaginary mission. It's funnier than a kick in the nuts to watch. I think he scared the blond one. He'd just stare as Heero gave his speech about himself. Having heard Heero's speech of self-importance and shit he spoon-fed people. Which I think is just about what he thinks he is.  
  
// News flash Heero… you're a dick! // Oh that felt good I thought to myself. As I rolled my eyes.  
  
// I so don't wanna listen to this shit again. //  
  
"Hey" I said cutting Heero off. // Yes he finally stopped. //  
  
"Where's everybody else? We can't be the only people here…right? Where's Cat? Can we go inside we and finish this. I'm burning up out here. I'm dark enough you know."  
  
Heero looked at me as if I was the stupidest thing to walk the planet and the new international people just smiled at me. // Patronizing fucks. // Though one I think was looking at me like a hungry dog.  
  
// If she only knew. //  
  
Don broke the silence. "Oh she went to pick the other up from the station." // WHAT!!! // "She'll be back in a few." // Why that stupid son of a dirty whore!!! // Heero laughed.  
  
" You mean we just spent four dollars on getting here // What's this "WE" shit. // and she went to go get us."  
  
What Heero found so fucking funny about this I don't know. Cause I couldn't see the fucking joke. // Sadistic fuck // I swear he lives in a different reality than the rest of us cause I know he didn't spend a red freaking cent on that cab, I thought as I glared at him.  
  
Don lit a cigarette. " That's right. Some of them called and said they'd missed the train. So they'd be on the next one."  
  
// Note to self--kill Heero in his sleep. //  
  
" Oh isn't that nice."  
  
I already knew Cat was a bit slow but damn this was ridiculous. Annoyed at the way things were going. I lit a cigarette.  
  
" Hey Hee you wanna smoke?"  
  
"NO!" He said like I'd asked him if he wanted to cut off his own dick. Heero then turned his attention back to the foreigners. // Oh no that's not right. // What did cat call them again… oh yea internationals. I know what she really means *cheap labor *.  
  
Heero I bet was talking to them just to scope out the tall one. I know he likes them really tall and muscular. // The horny bastard! // I thought as I walked away pulling out a cigarette.  
  
When I heard someone trying // Key word trying. // to call my name. "Dus!…Dus!" I turned around to see Rina running behind me. Pointing at myself " Me? "  
  
She shook her head yes. " I'll go with you."  
  
" You smoke?" I had to ask the one who's been staring at me like I was a piece of meat. She said yes and pulled out a pack to show me. My face lit up. // Someone I can bum cigarette off of. //  
  
"Cool" I said. As we smoked she tried to explain the smoking rules here. Being that we're surrounded by trees. It would be a shame for it to go up in flames because of one misguided cigarette. // It'd be funny as all hell to watch though. //  
  
Things were looking up for me. I had a smoke buddy even if I didn't like the way she looked at me and there weren't a lot bugs around. This might not suck total ass after all.  
  
As Rina expressed her joy for being here for the millionth time a van full of people drove up. They were all laughing and singing // Good God I'm in hell. // one of those popular pop songs. You know the ones you hear once and you're fucked. You end up singing it for days like it's been burned into your brain with a hot poker.  
  
Heero looked at me like he was in pain. He was trying to act like he didn't like that shit. // Undercover pop princess. // He walked up to the van like he was a cop and they were a bunch of drunken teens. The singing stopped and everyone spilled out of the van. For once Heero being the anal, delusional fuck that he was came in handy. It does help that he looks like he's a military reject. Hell if we weren't friends I'd fuck him. // Of course I'd have to kill him afterwards. //  
  
I guess the shock wore off and they went back to being the shiny happy people. I kept my Hello's to a short and quick hi. They spoke the language I so lovingly called gibberish. It was that new inventive // And ridiculous. // slang. I don't like these people already.  
  
Cat got out and, with a smile that looked like she'd been doing really good drugs, waved hi. She welcomed Heero and me. We smiled and exchanged looks of " Oh god what did we sign up for. ".  
  
She told everyone to meet inside since we were running late  
  
// Late my ass. // and we had a lot to go over.  
  
"Heero what training?"  
  
"Didn't you read the papers she give you?"  
  
" No that's your job."  
  
Heero gave me a dirty look. " You're fucking hopeless. What good are you?"  
  
I smirked. " I'm your friend you figure it out."  
  
Heero walked away from me and said." Remind me why we're friends again?"  
  
"Oh that's easy. You had no friends and I took pity on you."  
  
"FUCK YOU! I have friends!" Heero said getting annoyed. // Heero is so cute when he's angry. He gets all indignant. //  
  
" Your cat and the old lady at the store doesn't count." I said while I laughed.  
  
"Duo you know what…BITE ME!"  
  
I screwed up my face in disgust. " ILL!… no you taste bad. When was the last time you washed...dirty! " Holding my nose as I said it.  
  
That got me a punch in the arm. It was well worth it. It brightened this shitty day. Not only was I stranded in the middle of nowhere but I was also stranded with the shiny happy fucking people. // Yep definitely gonna have to kill at least one of them. //  
  
Inside we all sat at cafeteria style tables. It was like I died and when to clique hell. We had the ones that looked like ho's to the left. The " I wanna be hard " guys right next to them. In the back the cheap labor and then the old ones in the front. Heero and I sat at the table far away from all of them. They might be contagious.  
  
Cat stood in the front and introduced herself and her second in command Craig. Who I know is gay. // I can always spot my own kind. //  
  
They asked us to introduce ourselves and say why you came to camp. // You pay me. // Everyone said the same dorky thing about wanting to help the kids. // Liars! // They're full of shit; they're here the same reason I am. The pay, free room and board. Heero went first. Him and his anal retentive pro discipline army shit. Then there was Howard. For a young guy he's really funny looking. Treize another one who's parents were on drugs when they named him and had whore written all over him. Zechs, ok I see the sign "No brains included". Relena- another idiot who had whore written all over her. Noin sounded like a cocky son of a whore. The internationals // Gotta stop callin' them cheap labor// Q, the girls and some guy. Q gave a short, sweet intro. // He's hiding something nobody's that nice. // Last was the tall one and he had weird hair. It was really long in the front and it covered most of have his face. // He better not be a fucking troll under there. // I think he said his name was Trowa or some shit. Man these people must have not been loved as kids. Their names were horrible. What the fuck is a Trowa anyway? At least I know my name means two in some language. Trowa talked like maybe 5 words. Hi, I'm from somewhere.  
  
And then there was Wufei another foreigner. // Where's he been hiding? // He was really cute. There was the nurse Sally. // She scares me. // She scared Heero. Dorothy was the director of something or another. She looked like someone pissed in her coffee. The cook Hilde looked nice and sweet.  
  
// Always be nice to the woman who cooks your food. //  
  
While they talked about how to deal with these snot nosed kids, I zoned out and drew little chibi Hiei's on my note pad. // Another of Heero's bright ideas. //  
  
The day dragged on as I drifted between sleep and asking Heero to stab me in the head. I was tempted to get up and say that we know how to watch kids it's easy. Make sure they wash, eat and try not to kill each other. It's simple any moron can do it. Heero was eating this up and acting like this was some interesting shit. He paid me no mind other than to wake me up when I started dozing off. While I was lost in thought Heero volunteered my services. I ended up being the craft teacher before the day was over. // He will DIE for this. //  
  
By the time the day was over I was banging my head on the table, hoping to render myself unconscious. Cat told us to go and pick a cabin and we had to be up and at breakfast by 8. I asked her why; the kids weren't even here yet. She told me that we had more training to go through and weren't even half way done.  
  
I again for the 4th time today wanted to kill Heero in his sleep. As we left the mess hall, Heero began to tell me what he thought about the others but he seemed to have a lot to say about the one with the funny hair. We walked about a mile to the cabins and found it to be straight out of some cheap horror flick. Nothing like the pictures we'd been shown. // If something jumps out at me, I'm pushing Heero in front of it an high tailin' it out of there. //  
  
We found our bags in the middle of the road, where we had to look through a pile of other bags to find ours. Don was already on my shit list // If I find a bug in my shit he'll be the first one to go. // and this wasn't making it any better.  
  
As usual we bunked together away from the others. There were no bugs in it and the screens on the windows seemed to be intact.  
  
We quickly called it a night only to be woken up by a thumping sound. It was pitch black and I could hear a small sound of something hitting the wall. Being the chicken shit that I am I creeped out of my bunk // Yes it was a tiny bunk bed. // and shook Heero. The bastard just rolled over. So I hit him with my pillow. // A few times. //  
  
"What!"  
  
" Hee you hear that?"  
  
"Hear what? Go back to fucking sleep. Get outta my bed."  
  
"Don't you hear it? Go see what it is." // Ok I'm a bit scared. //  
  
"No you go."  
  
"No you're the big, strong nature boy you go."  
  
" No you go you chicken shit."  
  
"So what! I'm not goin'. Just go turn on the lights. Please."  
  
Heero got up, annoyed, and mumbled a bunch of mean things about me being a sissy. // Yea just turn on the fucking lights! //  
  
"See nothings ther… OH SHIT!"  
  
Heero jumped and quickly moved away. Actually he jumped and ran like a bitch, scaring the living shit out of me.  
  
"What! What is it?"  
  
He told me he didn't know but it looked like a water bug. It was priceless. Big, 5'8, Heero "Rod up my ass" Yuy was afraid of water bugs. Flying fucking roaches. I laughed so hard I nearly pissed myself. Heero got indignant and stated that he wasn't afraid of them.  
  
// *cough* bullshit *cough* // I got out of my bed and walked over to the light. Sure enough it looked like one but I'll be damned if knew what it was. Being from the city, I picked up one of Heero's boots and threw it at the bug. The fucker didn't die, it didn't even move. Heero was screaming at me not to use his shoes. // Like I'm gonna use one of mine. // I thought as I got ready to throw his other shoe. // You're gonna die. //  
  
I heard that thumping sound again. It was coming from the light bulb. When I looked it was the biggest fucking moth I'd ever freaking seen. The thumping sound was coming from it hitting the wall. I threw the shoe at it. It busted the light bulb and in the two seconds it took to realize I was standing half-naked in a room with bugs, I was in my bed with Heero under the covers. // This is gonna be a long night. //  
  
  
  
  
  
I got up quickly dusting myself off. The driver got out and man was I ever right. He was fat, smelly and funny looking.  
  
" Hi you're a new counselor right?" // No I'm a bird! What else would I be shithead. //  
  
Plastering on the big smile I'm so famous for, " Yeah I'm Duo, nice ta meet ya."  
  
The driver gave me a funny look. This happens all the time; they think I'm a girl and Duo's my nickname.  
  
"That's a funny name for a girl." He said.  
  
I sighed. This was getting on my fucking nerves.  
  
" I'm not a girl… I'm a guy."  
  
He looked at me like I was the oddest thing he'd ever seen. // Ok I found the hicks and I'm talking to their leader. // "Really?"  
  
"Yea dude I stand up to piss."  
  
" I just asked no need to be a prick about it." He said.  
  
I tried not to commit to acts of violence yet; it was just the first day.  
  
// Where the fuck is Heero? // He extended his hand to me. // You want me to touch that? //  
  
"The name's Don."  
  
// I don't care what you name is I ain't touching you. //  
  
"I'm the maintenance guy here."  
  
// Better you than me. // I thought as he waited for me to shake his hand. Which I was not doing, fuck being nice. He reminded me of one of those guys who beg for beer money on the street.  
  
I turned to avoid his hand and quickly pointed and said, "Who are they?"  
  
" Those are the international counselors. You'll be working with them too."  
  
As if trained to do so they all got off the truck and began to introduce themselves. There was Lita from Estonia, Rina from some Spanish country. Or that's what I think it was. Then there was the one whose name I couldn't even pronounce from Arabia or India. // Must be adopted. //  
  
"Wait a minute, you're not a girl are you?" I said.  
  
The boy smiled and said with a nice accent. " No I'm a boy like you. We just girl looks."  
  
You got that right he looked like a small underdeveloped girl // Ok now I don't feel so bad. // with the bluest eyes I've ever seen. I called him Q. It was better than callin' him " Hey you the one who's parent didn't love 'em." That would just be wrong. As Heero says " Must be on our best. What would the children think." // Like I give a flying fuck! // The last was a girl. Her name was Ingrid. She was tall, slim and looked like an anorexic model. Most of them seemed to be on some kind of happy pill. They wouldn't stop smiling. // Sweet fuck I'm gonna be sick! // I need some of the shit they're on. It looks like fun.  
  
Heero took it upon himself to finally show up.  
  
"Hey Heero look other counselors, the internationals."  
  
Now Heero has something with him about the way he introduces himself to people. He acts like his briefing people about some imaginary mission. It's funnier than a kick in the nuts to watch. I think he scared the blond one. He'd just stare as Heero gave his speech about himself. Having heard Heero's speech of self-importance and shit he spoon-fed people. Which I think is just about what he thinks he is.  
  
// News flash Heero… you're a dick! // Oh that felt good I thought to myself. As I rolled my eyes.  
  
// I so don't wanna listen to this shit again. //  
  
"Hey" I said cutting Heero off. // Yes he finally stopped. //  
  
"Where's everybody else? We can't be the only people here…right? Where's Cat? Can we go inside we and finish this. I'm burning up out here. I'm dark enough you know."  
  
Heero looked at me as if I was the stupidest thing to walk the planet and the new international people just smiled at me. // Patronizing fucks. // Though one I think was looking at me like a hungry dog.  
  
// If she only knew. //  
  
Don broke the silence. "Oh she went to pick the other up from the station." // WHAT!!! // "She'll be back in a few." // Why that stupid son of a dirty whore!!! // Heero laughed.  
  
" You mean we just spent four dollars on getting here // What's this "WE" shit. // and she went to go get us."  
  
What Heero found so fucking funny about this I don't know. Cause I couldn't see the fucking joke. // Sadistic fuck // I swear he lives in a different reality than the rest of us cause I know he didn't spend a red freaking cent on that cab, I thought as I glared at him.  
  
Don lit a cigarette. " That's right. Some of them called and said they'd missed the train. So they'd be on the next one."  
  
// Note to self--kill Heero in his sleep. //  
  
" Oh isn't that nice."  
  
I already knew Cat was a bit slow but damn this was ridiculous. Annoyed at the way things were going. I lit a cigarette.  
  
" Hey Hee you wanna smoke?"  
  
"NO!" He said like I'd asked him if he wanted to cut off his own dick. Heero then turned his attention back to the foreigners. // Oh no that's not right. // What did cat call them again… oh yea internationals. I know what she really means *cheap labor *.  
  
Heero I bet was talking to them just to scope out the tall one. I know he likes them really tall and muscular. // The horny bastard! // I thought as I walked away pulling out a cigarette.  
  
When I heard someone trying // Key word trying. // to call my name. "Dus!…Dus!" I turned around to see Rina running behind me. Pointing at myself " Me? "  
  
She shook her head yes. " I'll go with you."  
  
" You smoke?" I had to ask the one who's been staring at me like I was a piece of meat. She said yes and pulled out a pack to show me. My face lit up. // Someone I can bum cigarette off of. //  
  
"Cool" I said. As we smoked she tried to explain the smoking rules here. Being that we're surrounded by trees. It would be a shame for it to go up in flames because of one misguided cigarette. // It'd be funny as all hell to watch though. //  
  
Things were looking up for me. I had a smoke buddy even if I didn't like the way she looked at me and there weren't a lot bugs around. This might not suck total ass after all.  
  
As Rina expressed her joy for being here for the millionth time a van full of people drove up. They were all laughing and singing // Good God I'm in hell. // one of those popular pop songs. You know the ones you hear once and you're fucked. You end up singing it for days like it's been burned into your brain with a hot poker.  
  
Heero looked at me like he was in pain. He was trying to act like he didn't like that shit. // Undercover pop princess. // He walked up to the van like he was a cop and they were a bunch of drunken teens. The singing stopped and everyone spilled out of the van. For once Heero being the anal, delusional fuck that he was came in handy. It does help that he looks like he's a military reject. Hell if we weren't friends I'd fuck him. // Of course I'd have to kill him afterwards. //  
  
I guess the shock wore off and they went back to being the shiny happy people. I kept my Hello's to a short and quick hi. They spoke the language I so lovingly called gibberish. It was that new inventive // And ridiculous. // slang. I don't like these people already.  
  
Cat got out and, with a smile that looked like she'd been doing really good drugs, waved hi. She welcomed Heero and me. We smiled and exchanged looks of " Oh god what did we sign up for. ".  
  
She told everyone to meet inside since we were running late  
  
// Late my ass. // and we had a lot to go over.  
  
"Heero what training?"  
  
"Didn't you read the papers she give you?"  
  
" No that's your job."  
  
Heero gave me a dirty look. " You're fucking hopeless. What good are you?"  
  
I smirked. " I'm your friend you figure it out."  
  
Heero walked away from me and said." Remind me why we're friends again?"  
  
"Oh that's easy. You had no friends and I took pity on you."  
  
"FUCK YOU! I have friends!" Heero said getting annoyed. // Heero is so cute when he's angry. He gets all indignant. //  
  
" Your cat and the old lady at the store doesn't count." I said while I laughed.  
  
"Duo you know what…BITE ME!"  
  
I screwed up my face in disgust. " ILL!… no you taste bad. When was the last time you washed...dirty! " Holding my nose as I said it.  
  
That got me a punch in the arm. It was well worth it. It brightened this shitty day. Not only was I stranded in the middle of nowhere but I was also stranded with the shiny happy fucking people. // Yep definitely gonna have to kill at least one of them. //  
  
Inside we all sat at cafeteria style tables. It was like I died and when to clique hell. We had the ones that looked like ho's to the left. The " I wanna be hard " guys right next to them. In the back the cheap labor and then the old ones in the front. Heero and I sat at the table far away from all of them. They might be contagious.  
  
Cat stood in the front and introduced herself and her second in command Craig. Who I know is gay. // I can always spot my own kind. //  
  
They asked us to introduce ourselves and say why you came to camp. // You pay me. // Everyone said the same dorky thing about wanting to help the kids. // Liars! // They're full of shit; they're here the same reason I am. The pay, free room and board. Heero went first. Him and his anal retentive pro discipline army shit. Then there was Howard. For a young guy he's really funny looking. Treize another one who's parents were on drugs when they named him and had whore written all over him. Zechs, ok I see the sign "No brains included". Relena- another idiot who had whore written all over her. Noin sounded like a cocky son of a whore. The internationals // Gotta stop callin' them cheap labor// Q, the girls and some guy. Q gave a short, sweet intro. // He's hiding something nobody's that nice. // Last was the tall one and he had weird hair. It was really long in the front and it covered most of have his face. // He better not be a fucking troll under there. // I think he said his name was Trowa or some shit. Man these people must have not been loved as kids. Their names were horrible. What the fuck is a Trowa anyway? At least I know my name means two in some language. Trowa talked like maybe 5 words. Hi, I'm from somewhere.  
  
And then there was Wufei another foreigner. // Where's he been hiding? // He was really cute. There was the nurse Sally. // She scares me. // She scared Heero. Dorothy was the director of something or another. She looked like someone pissed in her coffee. The cook Hilde looked nice and sweet.  
  
// Always be nice to the woman who cooks your food. //  
  
While they talked about how to deal with these snot nosed kids, I zoned out and drew little chibi Hiei's on my note pad. // Another of Heero's bright ideas. //  
  
The day dragged on as I drifted between sleep and asking Heero to stab me in the head. I was tempted to get up and say that we know how to watch kids it's easy. Make sure they wash, eat and try not to kill each other. It's simple any moron can do it. Heero was eating this up and acting like this was some interesting shit. He paid me no mind other than to wake me up when I started dozing off. While I was lost in thought Heero volunteered my services. I ended up being the craft teacher before the day was over. // He will DIE for this. //  
  
By the time the day was over I was banging my head on the table, hoping to render myself unconscious. Cat told us to go and pick a cabin and we had to be up and at breakfast by 8. I asked her why; the kids weren't even here yet. She told me that we had more training to go through and weren't even half way done.  
  
I again for the 4th time today wanted to kill Heero in his sleep. As we left the mess hall, Heero began to tell me what he thought about the others but he seemed to have a lot to say about the one with the funny hair. We walked about a mile to the cabins and found it to be straight out of some cheap horror flick. Nothing like the pictures we'd been shown. // If something jumps out at me, I'm pushing Heero in front of it an high tailin' it out of there. //  
  
We found our bags in the middle of the road, where we had to look through a pile of other bags to find ours. Don was already on my shit list // If I find a bug in my shit he'll be the first one to go. // and this wasn't making it any better.  
  
As usual we bunked together away from the others. There were no bugs in it and the screens on the windows seemed to be intact.  
  
We quickly called it a night only to be woken up by a thumping sound. It was pitch black and I could hear a small sound of something hitting the wall. Being the chicken shit that I am I creeped out of my bunk // Yes it was a tiny bunk bed. // and shook Heero. The bastard just rolled over. So I hit him with my pillow. // A few times. //  
  
"What!"  
  
" Hee you hear that?"  
  
"Hear what? Go back to fucking sleep. Get outta my bed."  
  
"Don't you hear it? Go see what it is." // Ok I'm a bit scared. //  
  
"No you go."  
  
"No you're the big, strong nature boy you go."  
  
" No you go you chicken shit."  
  
"So what! I'm not goin'. Just go turn on the lights. Please."  
  
Heero got up, annoyed, and mumbled a bunch of mean things about me being a sissy. // Yea just turn on the fucking lights! //  
  
"See nothings ther… OH SHIT!"  
  
Heero jumped and quickly moved away. Actually he jumped and ran like a bitch, scaring the living shit out of me.  
  
"What! What is it?"  
  
He told me he didn't know but it looked like a water bug. It was priceless. Big, 5'8, Heero "Rod up my ass" Yuy was afraid of water bugs. Flying fucking roaches. I laughed so hard I nearly pissed myself. Heero got indignant and stated that he wasn't afraid of them.  
  
// *cough* bullshit *cough* // I got out of my bed and walked over to the light. Sure enough it looked like one but I'll be damned if knew what it was. Being from the city, I picked up one of Heero's boots and threw it at the bug. The fucker didn't die, it didn't even move. Heero was screaming at me not to use his shoes. // Like I'm gonna use one of mine. // I thought as I got ready to throw his other shoe. // You're gonna die. //  
  
I heard that thumping sound again. It was coming from the light bulb. When I looked it was the biggest fucking moth I'd ever freaking seen. The thumping sound was coming from it hitting the wall. I threw the shoe at it. It busted the light bulb and in the two seconds it took to realize I was standing half-naked in a room with bugs, I was in my bed with Heero under the covers. // This is gonna be a long night. // 


End file.
